Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
