"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
