when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
