Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And then my night got REAL pukey
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
