dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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