You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
