I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
