she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
