i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
