considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Don't tell me you're on acid again
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
