you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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