Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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