all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
