Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
