There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
