We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
