false alarm. still invincible.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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