And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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