I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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