she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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