My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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