i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
