i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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