i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize