then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
