Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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