ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
