After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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