Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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