pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
