i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
