i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
