If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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