Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.

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  (847): the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker. http://tfl.nu/4drl
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.

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  (808): It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex. http://tfl.nu/n6q7
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  (805): View more from California

  I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

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  (805): I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!" http://tfl.nu/ih8w
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.

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  (609): the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real. http://tfl.nu/krsx
  Replies (39) Good night (702) Bad night (5228) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face

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  (408): you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face http://tfl.nu/f86d
  Replies (46) Good night (10569) Bad night (2607) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"

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  (307): So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that" http://tfl.nu/5p37
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"

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  (985): when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this" http://tfl.nu/g0yg
  Replies (9) Good night (2035) Bad night (6270)
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  (562): View more from California

  the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...

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  (562): the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon... http://tfl.nu/do0i
  Replies (94) Good night (20299) Bad night (1695)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.

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  (937): Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me. http://tfl.nu/l4zf
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time

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  (719): She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time http://tfl.nu/gadq
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.

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  (719): I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm. http://tfl.nu/n4fu
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.

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  (615): Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place. http://tfl.nu/527t
  Replies (2) Good night (1855) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.

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  (847): Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating. http://tfl.nu/al19
  Replies (10) Good night (2063) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?

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  (845): Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/8vw8
  Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.

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  (512): Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate. http://tfl.nu/mywp
  Replies (5) Good night (457) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt

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