I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize