Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.