either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants