I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
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I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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