No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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