sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You may now shotgun with the bride
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
