Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i believe in u and ur pee
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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