What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize