You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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