did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It was confusing and full of hummus
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
