I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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