That's intense
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
