Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
