She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
