We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize