we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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