hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
