with your own penis?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
soo... how was my night?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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