even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
