my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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