Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
