its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
