It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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