I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
