absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
