Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
