erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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