My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
