i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
