No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
