They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
