Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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