Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
