Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
